View “My Mother’s Garden” Full Length Here

My dad was a hoarder, my brother was a hoarder, my mother is currently a hoarder, my sister is a “collector” . Her treasures might get sold one day. My middle sister buys things brand new but in many colors. Just in case she might need another. I am not a hoarder. I am deeply saddened with my mother’s situation and have not been in the house for awhile. I only watched 2 parts of the above story of My Mother’s Garden and it homes for me.

I felt the frustration of the famliy members. I just started the same process last weekend at my Mothers house in Torrance, CA. The denial of the hoarding and resistance to help was overwhelming. My Mother has social services involved also. There are deadlines to be met and consequences if we cannot get her place cleaned up. This documentary shows it can be done. Thank you for making it available.

Having 5 siblings with little support I find the task daunting to deal with anger issues from by 81 year old mother – about issues when she was 7 – cannot let go of the past and expresses anger over what her mother did to try and put food on the table…stories go on and on. she is unable to let go of the past and it’s too late at her age to want to move forward and forgive(her words). Bitter about anyone having more that she did, and criticle of a daughter simply trying to help her. Always quick to blame, always quick to insult those trying to help. I am sure this is not uncommon. Neighbors would never know from the outside – nice lawn, nice yard – but inside – smell of rotting dead rodents, 9 or 10 small dogs running around out of control- too many to count, everytime I arrive – a new one appears – 2500+ SqFt house – and every room filled to the ceiling with ’stuff’. New shopping bags appear daily filled with the latest sale items – that ’someone may need’ – but no one in the family will ever have another infant – we’re too old, (baby clothes, craft items for grandkids that have already outgrown, 10,000 cookbooks and more…. How many tote bags can one have?). I’d give it all away free to someone willing to fight her for it. Sure – it’s an illness – but everytime I come back to my own home – I look for things I have I can donate to a worthy cause – as I do not ever want to be like that. Siblings unwilling to help, so, I am, therefore, ‘the bad guy’. So be it. This sickness needs to be treated before the sickness causes a fire or illness to someone. Her own neglect has been brought up by her doctor, her forgetfulness, and own safety risks – and has been turned over to her med group social service department for evaulation – that, she has told my siblings, is my fault, too. It will take a full year to clean out the house – this is no laughing matter – but she thinks it is funny to boobie trap every room and every drawer. “I” am having a hard time stepping foot into the house. I cannot stand the smell. ‘I’ manage her affairs. ‘I’ see people taking advange of her generostiy and loans. ‘I’ have been lied to by her and siblings about money issues and expected to find a way to keep her afloat. this is wearing on me and it’s taking it’s toll. ‘I’ am not willing to sit back and let her destroy her home and her life, and loose the only thing she has – her home. I have asked my siblings to step up – or else – the ultimatium is now on the table by social services – clean it up or it’s going to be tagged by the fire department. It’s out of my hands now, and my last resort is to intervien through the court system to take full control over her affairs. Seems like such a drastic measure, but I have little options. Thank YOU for the forum – I am sure there are worse stories than mine just waiting to be told.

I too,am facing the fight of my life.My Mom @ 73 years old has very little room left in her house and also in a large out building. I am going to go over every inch of this website and try to put together a plan to help her. Thank you for all you do to help those of us in desperation.

I just got off the phone with my mother, a hoarder. The conversation ended in tears when I told her that her house keeps her from doing things she enjoys, she denied this, and then I reminded her of when we used to be able to come over for dinner about 15 years ago. I makes me so sad, the excuses, the blame, the “it doesn’t bother me”, “it’s not that bad”. The really insane part of it is she loves Clean Sweep and other organizing and cleaning shows, but doesn’t see herself as being as bad as the people on the show. It’s nice to know our family is not alone.

I watched all the episodes. I felt like I was watching my own mother…She would fret knowing that my older sister was at the house when she was with me. My sister was very careful and mostly got rid of newspapers and literally “trash” The other items, she would “organize” for my mother to go through.
And myself. I remember crying – begging my husband to let me keep my mother’s stuff “for a while” after she passed away.
He did. I am slowly going through it myself. If someone else tries to “decide” for me then I come unglued – either outward or inward. It is very traumatic. I go into a depression.
I do not save trash; butter wrappers, cans, bottles, etc. I save usable things that I have enough of to take care of two families. My mother’s used tissues in her pockets were tempting, but I did get rid of them. (She always had a tissue in her pocket.)
So, where do we go from here…? I feel bad that the lady had to go to a nursing home and not to her own home again…but maybe that was best for her.

Thank you so much for this documentary and the courage to share your story. My heart goes out to your mother and pray that she continues to flourish. I suspect much of her trouble is the loss that accompanied the horrible after affects of Hitler’s holocaust. The damage he did is still affecting generations.

My sister is a hoarder. It’s painful and confusing to see how she lives. It’s only now that I’m seeing that she is not unique. I’m surprised to see how many other people suffer from this and that it isn’t a choice. I feel for those who help whether they be family or professional help. it’s exhausting watching the film. It’s exhausting being in my sister’s company. Not only does she save things, she saves moments and memories, can’t leave a party or end a phone call. Now she photographs every moment. I wonder if the neighbors will turn her in someday. I’m not in a place to help her…but what are these people suppose to do?